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Peter Haiman, Ph.D.

 

Thinking Outside the Box

Decisions made in family court that affect the life of the young child, but that are not based on well-researched theories of psycho-social development, such as attachment theory, hurt the very validity of the court. These decisions also can result in short- or even long-term psychological damage to the individual.

In many states, young children do not have legal representation of their own. Every child should have the right to have his or her developmental needs fully described in court. That child’s unique life history must be understood if informed decisions are to be made on his or her behalf, and appropriate parenting plans created. This requires an understanding of the research as well as of the individual child. It cannot be accomplished by lawyers alone. Children also need advocates who understand developmental theory and research, and their particular needs.

When evaluating a parenting plan, toddlers and preschoolers have the ability to indicate how well it is working. Even nonverbal infants can express their needs in a subtle manner. Advocates are essential at this stage, as well, to let the court know if the plan is working. When will this vital process become standard in the family court system? It seems we have a long road to travel.

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About Dr. Haiman and Parenting Advice

Dr. Peter Ernest Haiman

Dr. Haiman conducted an extensive review of the published child development and child-rearing research before writing each of the articles on this site. For years, he taught courses through a local adult school to parents of young children and parents of adolescents. Because of these efforts and his innovative work developing the national Head Start program, he was selected to be a member of President Clinton's delegation to Cuba in 2001. Dr. Haiman also fathered and raised two children.

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HOW TO PREVENT SIBLING RIVALRY

A plethora of books, articles, videos, and advice about how to prevent or to handle sibling rivalry is available for parents with two or more children. But to what degree is all this information useful? How valuable is it really?

In fact, many experts fail to do what is perhaps most important when it comes to dealing with sibling rivalry: look at what is happening through the child’s emotional eyes. And so the parents they advise also fall short in this way. Parents try hard to be helpful, but they do so from the point of view of a caring parent. They don’t always understand what their children are trying to tell them.

For a moment, imagine yourself as an infant. Look at and feel things as...

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