Thinking Outside the Box

Too often I hear parents blame their young children or adolescents for misbehavior when the true responsibility lies with their misguided parenting. I have seen parents punish and scold infants, toddlers, and preschoolers for behavior that was directly caused by ignorant child rearing. A large and increasing number of parents today don’t know how properly to rear children. They don’t make the effort to find good quality information about child and adolescent development and parenting. The result is more child-parent alienation, adolescent drug use, gang membership and violence, school dropouts, delinquency, and depression.

I also hear people who are parents blame members of Congress for not solving our nation’s problems—whether it be the debt crisis, lost jobs, or international conflict. I’ve read statements by some recommending members of Congress have their pay withheld as punishment, as if that were a solution. If these parents had studied the candidates more thoroughly before they voted, they might have recognized their authoritarian personalities. They might have anticipated their capacity for stonewalling, and their inability to work toward balanced compromise or to govern effectively.

When it comes to parenting our children and managing our democracy, who is really responsible?

More Thinking Outside the Box

The myths of child rearing

Toilet training and Weaning are best done by parents when their child is very young.

Terrible two behavior is a built in characteristic of children who are one and a half to four years old.

You’ll spoil that child if you pick it up when it cries or meet his/her needs.

Children should sleep in their own bed and room.

Young children should eat three complete meals per day.

Baby talk to the baby is good.

Spare the Rod and spoil the child: prompt and strict discipline from parents is the best way to teach a child to behave.

Anyone may take care of the young infant and toddler.

Sibling rivalry is inevitable.

Certain behaviors of a young child regularly cause their parents to be upset.

Babies should sleep through the night by the time they are three or four months old.

Crying it out at night is a good way to get children to sleep through the night.

It is OK for parents to rely primarily on their own instincts to rear their children.

Children learn best by sitting still and paying attention to what teachers and parents teach them.

Most pediatricians are trained to provide competent, psychosocial child development information and child-rearing advice.

Young infants do not have the ability to remember, think, abstract in their minds, use their intellect to solve problems, and they can not solve mathematical problems.

Children should be told by teachers and parents that it is wrong to make mistakes. Children should be criticized when they do make mistakes.