Parent Thank You Letters to Dr. Peter Ernest Haiman: Page 1 | 2 |
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September 28, 2010
Dear Peter,
Thank you so much for your heartwarming and encouraging email. I have met so many really kind and caring people in the last couple of months, Peter, and you were the first of them. You appeared in our lives at a time when I didn’t know where to turn or how to find help for my son and our family.
This brings me to reflect with gratitude on the insight and genuine care you have shown towards myself, my son and my husband, although we have only been in touch through email as we live in Ireland. You were prepared to help us negotiate our way through all the red tape and various organisations to find the help we needed although you live so far away. You pointed me in a direction and set me on a path. I got lost many times but you helped me get my focus back. You never lost patience, gently prompting me to work out, with ________ and _______'s help what was best for us as a family. You always seem to know the right questions to ask.
At one stage you pointed out that maybe ________ felt he had never been listened to since he was a tiny child. I asked ________ if this was how he felt and he said he had been trying to tell me this for years, but of course I hadn’t been listening. I don’t know how you worked that out, Peter, as you haven’t been talking to ________, but you encouraged me to ask questions and to really listen to the answers.
Although our son is 19, you have given us hope that it is not too late to turn things around and to help him realise his potential as a complete human being. It is not too late for us to become a healthy functioning family. You encouraged me to ask questions and listen, really listen, to what my husband and son had to say. You never used the word "controlling," but talking to you and learning to listen to ________, I came to realise how controlling I am in my relationships both with my husband and son. You also helped me find a counselor here, who has been a wonderful help to me.
When I first wrote to you, I was extremely distressed and worried I was going to lose my son, but now I look forward to our lives in the future with hope. My son hasn’t completely stopped drinking or taking drugs, yet we have stopped having arguments and his asthma has disappeared again. He is also getting counseling.
The three of us climbed a mountain together last week in the West of Ireland. It was something we tried to plan since the beginning of the year, but it was cancelled so many times due to ________’s addiction. ________ said he felt it was a new beginning for us and I believe it is. I also believe it is largely thanks to your encouragement, insight and help that we have got to this point, Peter. We have got back a son who tells us every day that he loves us and really means it. The lines of communication between us are open again. The words “kindness” and “love” continually feature in your vocabulary, Peter. You are one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever met.
A while ago I sent you a card with a quotation from St. Frances Xavier “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing is so gentle as real strength.” To me this is the essence of the man that you are.
I don’t know how to thank you except just to say “Thank you!”
With love from
January 6, 2011
Dear Dr. Haiman,
Thank you so much for all your help with finding me a new lawyer in_______ and your advice with my custody situation for my son. I know this probably isn't much, but I wanted to send you a thank you with some money I got for Christmas. Your help has meant the world to me! Your advice has been wonderful, and it is just so nice to feel like I have someone willing to fight for the well-being of my son. Thank you so much!
Sincerely,
May 31, 2011
Hi. Just came across your wisdom! I'm a school psychologist by profession but also a wife, mother, daughter and sister. I have three children 6 and under and feeling imprisoned lately... I have always felt that children are gifts from God, but you made me realize how, by being a more informed parent and mindful of how I was raised. My children hold the keys to my freedom from an imprisoned past. I want to be a better parent for my children and my children’s children. So if I need to, I will seek therapy.
Thank you
July 29, 2009
Dear Dr. Haiman,
It was such a pleasure to speak with you on the phone. You provided me with some excellent insight and advice. I have since read more of your articles and find your work to be amazing and compassionate. I studied child development at UC Davis before going on to dental school. I would like to send you some information about my son _______ and our current battle so you can hopefully give me more insight on how this is affecting my son and his emotional
development.
Thank you,
April 26, 2010
Thank you for your work and writing.
You have it right on. I had always wondered why we always get on better with our babies rather than the two year olds and upwards. You have given me the answer! It is because for the young ones we have been taught to give them what they need and try to understand them..but the older ones: we have been taught that we have to get them to do what we want them to do! As a result we don't get along with them, they are unhappy and we are frustrated. Thank you for reminding us of what we instinctively know when we have just gotten our children but forget so soon.
May 19, 2010
Hi! I don't know if you remember me. My daughter's name is ________. I sent you an email a couple of months ago on her defiant behavior. I just wanted to let you know that the supermarket is her favorite place to go now!! Ha-ha. Considering I gave her a problem to solve instead of a choice she loved it!! Her behavior has gotten much better in general. I wanted to thank you for taking the time with me to talk about the difficulties I was having. You are certainly one to respect and if I ever need you in the future I won't hesitate to call.
Sincerely,
Hello Peter
I just wanted to let you know that today I followed your guidance about giving ______ his “power and sense of self back” and I while ______ was crawling up our stairs with us close behind her, I whispered to him, “_____, do you see ______ crawling up the stairs? Do you know where she learned that and who she is imitating?” _______ said, “Daddy?” I said, “No, she is imitating you and by watching you, she has learned to do this! You have taught your sister how to climb the stairs! You are a wonderful teacher and a wonderful big brother!” He BEAMED from ear to ear and everyone we encountered today heard about how he has taught _______ to climb the stairs....
We had several temper tantrums and several other “challenging moments” but I think that we are headed in the right direction – thanks to you Peter.
I will definitely be sending you some compensation for your time and interest in helping me with______ some time in the next couple of weeks. I know that you said money isn't that important to you, and I cannot afford to send you a lot, but I will be sending something and wanted you to know that the simple fact that you were willing to listen and give us some advice means so much to us. If I were wealthy, I'd send you so much more, for your time and knowledge is invaluable.
Thanks Peter!!
Warmest Regards,
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