More Parent Thank You Letters to Dr. Peter Ernest Haiman: Page 1 | 2 |
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Dear Dr. Peter Ernest Haiman, PH.D.;
I was cleaning out our basement recently and I found your old business card so I decided to contact you to express my gratitude.
I wanted to thank you setting our family off in the right direction with the knowledge you shared with us years ago. I took two classes from you in Albany in 1987. The first class I took when I was pregnant and then I took another after my son was born. Thanks to your guidance, I was shown a model that helped to create a wonderful warm loving 19 year old young man.
My husband and I were married 16 years before our son _____ was born and he was precious to our lives long before we saw him. In the beginning years ago there was a hesitation to have children because I had come from an abusive background and I feared being a mother. I never wanted to repeat the patterns that I grew up with. After we wanted children it took us many years, several miscarriages to have a beautiful boy.
The arrival of a healthy beautiful boy was momentous in our lives. Your positive role models were my first direct experiences with a different way of life. I knew what I didn't want to do, but when you said "do you want to eat in the blue bowl or the red bowl?" and talked about giving a child choices, the light went on and I could see more of what I wanted to do. I could see a positive way of dealing with child rearing from your example and it has worked for us. We continued to read and learn as he grew up which has been exciting.
Fortunately, I was very committed to breaking the cycle of violence in my family long before I wanted to have children, and I am happy to say that neither of us has ever been physically or mentally abusive to my son. The cycle stopped with this generation and our son has grown up in an extremely loving supportive environment. He tells me everyday that he loves me even though he has had a steady girl friend for over two years. Your lessons gave me my first tools to help raise a child in a manner that was respectful and I am grateful.
When our son was about 3 months old I remember taking a test that you gave us to determine some of his psychological traits. My husband and I have commented on the fact that this personality has not changed since this test we took about him years ago. The test seemed very
accurate to both of us.
I am so very glad that you were here for me to take a class, just a short walking distance from our home, almost 20 years ago. Thank you for being such a kind sharing warm human being. Your influence had a very positive ripple effect in the lives of our family.
Gratefully yours,
July 27, 2009
Dr Haiman,
I have downloaded almost every document you have so generously made available here and am just beginning the delightful journey through them. I have in fact just read "How Best to Establish Limits and Routines with Young Children" and am immediately motivated to thank you so very much for inspirations. I am a committed attachment parent but also the single Mom of a two and a half year old little girl. I try to be creative, responsive and inventive but sometimes the strain of parenting alone and being the only breadwinner cripples my ingenuity. Your suggestions are so very welcome and so important.
I am from South Africa so it is doubtful that I might have opportunity to speak with you but I thank you most sincerely for what you have shared here.
Kindest regards,
June 15, 1994
Dear Dr. Haiman,
I wanted to write and thank you for your workshop at the NC La Leche League Conference at Santa Clara, I attended. “How Divorce Affects Children”. I was very touched & very moved by your deep concern for children and your deep concern for us, the participants.
Thank God there are advocates as yourself, for children.
We spoke, you and I. I am the one who had the question about my son screaming every time he had to be left with his father and how everyone said “he is manipulating me!”
Thank you with all my heart for confirming what I truly believed. I only wish that I had had the strength to act upon what my instincts were telling me. Only with the birth of my second son did I finally learn to do that (act on my instincts).
He was the one sleeping and “melting” in my arms. You stated that he was so full of trust in his sleeping face. If I only could have bestowed the beautiful gift of motherly instinct on my 1st son in his early years.
I have so much more I could write and say I would fill countless numbers of pages. I mainly wanted to let you know how grateful I am to you. I need a great deal of courage right now in my life and I gained some from you.
Here I am in my second marriage and I am faced with it dissolving. I have tried with all my power since the conference to start the ground work for keeping the marriage together. I am failing.
My heart is breaking, but I will do what I need to do to keep my children safe, happy, loved and supported.
Once again, Dr. Haiman, thank you for making a difference.
Most Sincerely,
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