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Peter Haiman, Ph.D.


What Parents Say

"I am so very glad that you were here for me to take a class, just a short walking distance from our home, almost 20 years ago. Thank you for being such a kind sharing warm human being. Your influence had a very positive ripple effect in the lives of our family."

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"Peter Haiman is a very gentle, loving and dynamic coach for parents. He is totally supportive of people's well being and the well being of their children. His enthusiasm is inspiring and his support and empathy for parents is inspirational. He makes the job of parenting become a satisfying one."

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Testimonials from Parents to Dr. Peter Haiman

More Parent Thank You Letters:   Page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Child Therapy

June 14, 2013
Hi Peter:
I wanted to give you an update on our case.  We were awarded the adoption of our foster child last week despite Children, Youth and Family services selection of the grandmother.  Thank you for your article.  The judge specifically mentioned the "potential trauma" in moving the child as one of the major concerns.  I hope the courts will continue to weigh in on the side of the "best interest of the child" within the child welfare system as we move into the future. Our attorney, who is very connected and aware of cases within our State, said this is one of the very few cases that have been pursued to this level within the court system. Now, this case can be cited in future cases to support children - so it is a HUGE win for children! 

May 23, 2013
Hi Dr Haiman!
Just a quick note to let you know I was so pleased with your report and testimony. It will be the nail in the overnight’s coffin. I’ve given your name and website into to several groups I belong to on facebook: NPD survivors, single Moms, divorced parents, etc. I hope many come to you for help. Be well always and in all ways.

May 2, 2013
Dear Dr. Haiman,
Thank you for taking the time to talk with me recently.  I am extremely appreciative of the advice and help you have offered to me.  I feel as though I’m in the fight of my life, trying to get my daughters father, as well as the courts, to do what is right for her and not impose there beliefs on her. It’s heartbreaking to me that children seem to have no voice in the judicial process. That is why your work is so vital to all of us who are trying desperately to have our children’s rights heard, which would allow them to have a secure and safe childhood.  I can’t tell you enough what it means to me to have you to call upon for expert advice on Attachment.
I will be in contact in the next few days, with possible dates for a conference call with my lawyer and myself.
Again thank you for your valuable opinions, knowledge and time.
Warm regards,

March 21, 2013
I can't thank you enough for the research report. It is perfect! I enjoyed all of it, but one section really stood out. You mentioned the risk of losing behavioral gains. _____ was weaned last year when she was 18 months old (9 months ago). It was an easy transition; she was ready. In the past 3-4 months she now frequently asks to nurse. She attempts to pull down my shirt at least once daily and even latches if she can!! She constantly asks to play with my chest and has to fall asleep laying on my chest. I never realized this behavior could coincide with the stress she's been put under as she is consistently forced to leave me.
Let's hope this report will get through to some hard-headed and misinformed people! My attorney is a bright guy and fights for what I want but even he needs to read this. I forwarded it to him and will discuss it with him before I meet with the mediator (she will also get a copy). 

Thank you so much!

February 12, 2013
'The case against time out'… yes! I read that article! I loved it!  I have been on a search for a few months for alternatives to time out since it seems my daughter is getting some harm from it (wetting herself during, biting her nails after, etc.).
I just listened to one of your audio clips ... and within the first 2 minutes I realized why my daughter bites her nails.  It is because she has been raised with "time out" from the age of 10 months.  We used this because we both are determined not to ever spank her (we never have), because we do not want to treat her the way we were treated as children.   We have both suffered from our childhoods.  Thank goodness we were married 10 years before we gave birth to our daughter.  In that time we learned a great deal. 
We are committed to raising our daughter as a free person ... with her own rights ... with love and respect.  I am sad to have made such a mistake that has obviously injured her and caused the nail biting ... but I am so happy to have found your article and audio clip so I can learn how to do it right!  I love her ... and I never want to hurt her the way I have been hurt.
Thank you so much for the work that you do.  Because of you and all your hard work my daughter will get to grow up having never been spanked or humiliated or shamed ... that is indeed the best continual Christmas gift any child could receive! 
There is a spreading of this way of parenting as well.  I have been talking about this for a while with the parents in my daughter's play group and many are accepting these new ways of parenting and adopting them as their own. Love and thanks.

November 12, 2012
Good morning,
I wanted to let you know how it went in court last Friday. It went very well in the mother’s favor. Him and his attorney were very arrogant and belligerent. They of course tried to intimidate her in the hallway. She held her ground in a very nice and sweet manner. The parenting plan counselor showed up and mother's behalf. That went well, in fact very well. 
The only things we could go over in this court date was parenting hours and safe exchange and nursing. All was ruled in her favor.
This guy and his attorney were stunned. We could not believe it. There is justice after all. We know that we have a long road but at least this is a bright time for her and her young son. She stood her ground in a very respectful way and stern. She went in very prepared with your information as well. You would have been proud of her. For being just twenty years old she knew what way best for the baby and she went for it.
His attorney was taken back because he could not intimidate her.
Thank you for your encouraging us through this. I will continue to keep you informed with all the latest developments.

October 24, 2012
I am an early childhood educator and I currently work in a nonprofit organization helping parents/caregivers through the phone with concerns about their children 0-5. I have read so many articles and I am constantly searching to support these parents with so many different concerns. On one of my searches I found Dr. Haiman’s articles and I just love them!! I love the way he put together the information, it is easy to read and understand. I feel I am talking to him while I read them. The topics he talks about are very common questions people call us for. Discipline, sibling rivalry, emotional development, etc. are very important topics that in my experience of searching I haven’t found it easy to get the information I am looking for. Dr. Haiman’s articles have been very helpful for me to get more knowledge as a mother and as a professional helping families. I am very thankful for his insights and to have found this great information. Thank you for your dedication.

April 3, 2012
While researching the internet for information on how visitation schedules can affect my 2-year old granddaughter, I came across Dr. Haiman’s website. I, too, began reading the comments left by others who had come in contact with Dr. Haiman and I was so impressed that I decided to call him myself. He answered my call immediately and spent a good deal of time listening to me and my situation regarding my granddaughter, who is experiencing a very harmful visitation schedule. Dr. Haiman gave me a great deal of information and then for a very fair fee wrote a detailed letter to the court system (my daughter is appealing through) regarding the harmful impact the type of visitation schedule would have on my grandchild if it continued on. His information was well cited and I know he spent a great deal of time elaborating on the negative impact the current visitation schedule could have on her future if it did not change. Dr. Haiman is a kind, personable man whom I would highly recommend if you have children and are facing situations that could negatively impact your child. His supportive and concerned nature, and especially his willingness to go beyond what seems to more and more be the standard of “money first,” is impressive and refreshing!
A concerned grandmother

May 31, 2011
Hi. Just came across your wisdom! I'm a school psychologist by profession but also a wife, mother, daughter and sister. I have three children 6 and under and feeling imprisoned lately... I have always felt that children are gifts from God, but you made me realize how, by being a more informed parent and mindful of how I was raised. My children hold the keys to my freedom from an imprisoned past. I want to be a better parent for my children and my children’s children. So if I need to, I will seek therapy.
Thank you

January 6, 2011
Dear Dr. Haiman,
Thank you so much for all your help with finding me a new lawyer in_______ and your advice with my custody situation for my son. I know this probably isn't much, but I wanted to send you a thank you with some money I got for Christmas. Your help has meant the world to me! Your advice has been wonderful, and it is just so nice to feel like I have someone willing to fight for the well-being of my son. Thank you so much!

September 28, 2010
Dear Peter,
Thank you so much for your heartwarming and encouraging email. I have met so many really kind and caring people in the last couple of months, Peter, and you were the first of them. You appeared in our lives at a time when I didn’t know where to turn or how to find help for my son and our family.
This brings me to reflect with gratitude on the insight and genuine care you have shown towards myself, my son and my husband, although we have only been in touch through email as we live in Ireland. You were prepared to help us negotiate our way through all the red tape and various organisations to find the help we needed although you live so far away. You pointed me in a direction and set me on a path. I got lost many times but you helped me get my focus back. You never lost patience, gently prompting me to work out, with ________ and _______'s help what was best for us as a family. You always seem to know the right questions to ask.
At one stage you pointed out that maybe ________ felt he had never been listened to since he was a tiny child. I asked ________ if this was how he felt and he said he had been trying to tell me this for years, but of course I hadn’t been listening. I don’t know how you worked that out, Peter, as you haven’t been talking to ________, but you encouraged me to ask questions and to really listen to the answers.
Although our son is 19, you have given us hope that it is not too late to turn things around and to help him realise his potential as a complete human being. It is not too late for us to become a healthy functioning family. You encouraged me to ask questions and listen, really listen, to what my husband and son had to say. You never used the word "controlling," but talking to you and learning to listen to ________, I came to realise how controlling I am in my relationships both with my husband and son. You also helped me find a counselor here, who has been a wonderful help to me.
When I first wrote to you, I was extremely distressed and worried I was going to lose my son, but now I look forward to our lives in the future with hope. My son hasn’t completely stopped drinking or taking drugs, yet we have stopped having arguments and his asthma has disappeared again. He is also getting counseling.
The three of us climbed a mountain together last week in the West of Ireland. It was something we tried to plan since the beginning of the year, but it was cancelled so many times due to ________’s addiction. ________ said he felt it was a new beginning for us and I believe it is. I also believe it is largely thanks to your encouragement, insight and help that we have got to this point, Peter. We have got back a son who tells us every day that he loves us and really means it. The lines of communication between us are open again. The words “kindness” and “love” continually feature in your vocabulary, Peter. You are one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever met.
A while ago I sent you a card with a quotation from St. Frances Xavier “Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing is so gentle as real strength.” To me this is the essence of the man that you are.
I don’t know how to thank you except just to say “Thank you!”
With love from

May 19, 2010
Hi! I don't know if you remember me. My daughter's name is ________. I sent you an email a couple of months ago on her defiant behavior. I just wanted to let you know that the supermarket is her favorite place to go now!! Ha-ha. Considering I gave her a problem to solve instead of a choice she loved it!! Her behavior has gotten much better in general. I wanted to thank you for taking the time with me to talk about the difficulties I was having. You are certainly one to respect and if I ever need you in the future I won't hesitate to call.

April 26, 2010
Thank you for your work and writing.
You have it right on. I had always wondered why we always get on better with our babies rather than the two year olds and upwards. You have given me the answer! It is because for the young ones we have been taught to give them what they need and try to understand them..but the older ones: we have been taught that we have to get them to do what we want them to do! As a result we don't get along with them, they are unhappy and we are frustrated. Thank you for reminding us of what we instinctively know when we have just gotten our children but forget so soon.

Hello Peter
I just wanted to let you know that today I followed your guidance about giving ______ his “power and sense of self back” and I while ______ was crawling up our stairs with us close behind her, I whispered to him, “_____, do you see ______ crawling up the stairs? Do you know where she learned that and who she is imitating?” _______ said, “Daddy?” I said, “No, she is imitating you and by watching you, she has learned to do this! You have taught your sister how to climb the stairs! You are a wonderful teacher and a wonderful big brother!” He BEAMED from ear to ear and everyone we encountered today heard about how he has taught _______ to climb the stairs....
We had several temper tantrums and several other “challenging moments” but I think that we are headed in the right direction – thanks to you Peter.
I will definitely be sending you some compensation for your time and interest in helping me with______ some time in the next couple of weeks. I know that you said money isn't that important to you, and I cannot afford to send you a lot, but I will be sending something and wanted you to know that the simple fact that you were willing to listen and give us some advice means so much to us. If I were wealthy, I'd send you so much more, for your time and knowledge is invaluable.
Thanks Peter!!
Warmest Regards,

July 29, 2009
Dear Dr. Haiman,
It was such a pleasure to speak with you on the phone. You provided me with some excellent insight and advice. I have since read more of your articles and find your work to be amazing and compassionate. I studied child development at UC Davis before going on to dental school. I would like to send you some information about my son _______ and our current battle so you can hopefully give me more insight on how this is affecting my son and his emotional
Thank you,

July 27, 2009
Dr Haiman,
I have downloaded almost every document you have so generously made available here and am just beginning the delightful journey through them. I have in fact just read "How Best to Establish Limits and Routines with Young Children" and am immediately motivated to thank you so very much for inspirations. I am a committed attachment parent but also the single Mom of a two and a half year old little girl. I try to be creative, responsive and inventive but sometimes the strain of parenting alone and being the only breadwinner cripples my ingenuity. Your suggestions are so very welcome and so important.
I am from South Africa so it is doubtful that I might have opportunity to speak with you but I thank you most sincerely for what you have shared here.
Kindest regards,

Peter Ernest Haiman, Ph.D. Copyright ©